Social Planning - Not As Easy As It Looks

When Eric and I originally got engaged, we were on the fence about having a social.  For any of my non-Manitoban readers out there (and there are a few, from as far away as the UK and Australia!) a social is a pre-wedding tradition whereby the bride and groom throw a big party, where paying attendees come and buy drinks, tickets for silent auction prizes and other raffles, and it is considered a fundraiser to offset the costs of throwing your dream wedding.  From reading a couple of non-Manitoban wedding forums and blogs, I can see that anywhere else, this would be considered tacky.  But for us, it’s as ubiquitous as cold weather and perogies.

 

 

Socials!  Wooooooo!

The reason we were on the fence about it is, let’s face it, we are no spring chickens.  We are both going to be in our 30s by the time we get married, and we are both well established in our careers.  Could we really ask our friends and family to pitch in to help us pay for our wedding?  I can definitely see the point of view of the people out there who poo-poo socials for couples that are already somewhat on their feet.  But it’s a personal decision, and in my opinion all you have to do to convince yourself to have a social is draw up a budget for your wedding, and compare the amount of time until your wedding to the amount of money you have to save, and voila.  Convinced.  Weddings aren’t cheap no matter how you slice them, and while there isn’t a lot that would stop me from trying to throw the wedding of my dreams, I certainly will do anything I can to avoid going into a mountain of debt.  So the poo-pooers don’t have to come.  Besides, for me, the experience of having a social is more valuable than the money made from it.  It’s a Manitoba tradition, and I’ve been attending socials for 11 years and I finally get to be the bride at one!  Surrounded by all of our own family and friends and important people!  Fun!  Social prizes!  Dancing!  Cold cuts!  Need I say more?

 

 

Nothing like the glorious sight of a large tray of cold meat when

you are wasted off your ass at 11:30 pm.

 

While the various little details of the wedding are a large source of forethought and planning and stress for me, I was not worried about the social at all.  Rent a hall, get a DJ, gather up some prizes, make sure you have the makings of a great Canadian sandwich including rye bread, cubed cheddar and a big bottle of yellow mustard, and away we go.  Easy as pie.  Turns out, it’s not that simple.  A lot of our friends that have gotten married recently have expressed that the social was 10 times more stressful than the wedding.  At first I’m thinking, what?  That can’t possibly be true.  Here I am meticulously gluing miniscule rhinestones on a pair of shoes one at a time, while imagining the 22-part centerpieces that will need to be assembled and how I am going to put all the pieces together without blowing the budget and a social looks like a breeze.  Then we started planning and learned a few valuable lessons very early.

 

 

Right?  RIGHT?!?!?!? 

 

Lesson #1:  Don't jump the gun.  Similar to the fact that you wouldn’t announce a wedding date until you’re sure you have a venue, you shouldn’t announce a social date until you’re sure you have a hall.  To my (perhaps naive) surprise, it’s incredibly difficult to find a social venue in the city that holds more than 350 people, on a Saturday, especially if that Saturday is the one right before St. Patrick’s Day.  So we had to give up on that date, which actually ends up working out better because our new social date gives us the venue we want at a time of year that is convenient and gives us more time between the social and wedding to switch our focus to all the DIY projects that I really want to incorporate into the wedding.  So our for real, actual, set in stone social date is November 16, 2013!  Yayyyy!

 

 

On like Donkey Kong.

 

Lesson #2:  Be prepared to make it rain.  Throwing a social costs a hell of a lot of money up front.  Sure you will make it all back, but for a risk-averse accountant such as myself, this type of gambling on the future and pinning your hopes on your attendees isn’t totally in my comfort zone.  You have to pay for the venue (which I will say is a LOT more than I thought it would cost), the booze and liquor permit, the DJ, the social tickets, any prizes that you have to buy that aren’t donated, the late lunch, the ice, mix, cups, plates, napkins, forks, chips and pretzels, the liquor tickets, the prize tickets, the grand prize tickets, the 50/50 tickets, the perfume draw tickets, the bags to put tickets in, the poster board to post the numbers on, the decorations, the cash box....the list goes on and on.  I definitely know that you have to spend money to make money and this is all fine and good and I want to have a social so I know its necessary.  It’s just really hard to be spending money left and right when my primary focus right now is to save money for the wedding!

 

 

Whomp wahhhhhh  :(

 

Lesson #3:  Your social cannot be lame.  There seems to be just as many elements to planning a social as there is to planning a wedding.  This is because the Manitoba social has evolved from the simple and quaint friends and family get together of the 70s, to a rip roaring, Las Vegas style, glittery sparkling game show.  Social throwers are trading in rail drinks and OV for premium spirits, shots and Heinikegs.  My beloved assortment of cheese cubes on foil trays are being replaced by pizza, samosas, perogies, and McDonald’s cheeseburgers.  And if you don’t have at a minimum a barbeque, a large flat screen TV, a patio set, a texas mickey and round trip tickets to the moon, your social prizes suck.  Because this momentous occasion is such an institution in this province, on any given Saturday in April there could be upwards of 20 socials going on in the city.  So now you need to make yours stand out!  Themes!  Decorations!  Fabulous prizes!  Pyrotechnics!  Full buffet!  And make sure you are selling Grey Goose for $2.25 a shot!

 

 

 

I know right?

 

So while social planning can be a little stressful (I think I have a lot of friends...do I have a lot of friends?  How many friends do I have?  How many will actually come to my social?  Will their friends come?) we are taking a more traditional approach but also luckily have a few little tricks up our sleeve to ensure this will be an amazingly good time.  I don’t want to give away everything just yet, as everyone knows that the List of Fabulous Prizes needs to go on the Facebook Event Page, but let’s just say the FOB is hard at work making sure that all who attend will be appropriately wowed.  But as a little teaser, here’s a sneak peek at our social ticket!

 

 

Booyah!

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M

Bridesmaid and...bros-maid?

Tax season is over, I'm alive and have rejoined society.  And I'm also happy to report...

My wedding party is officially complete!

 

 

Boom.

When I was thinking about who to ask to stand up for me on my wedding day, I really gave it some thought because it was important to me that each person was standing up there for a specific reason.  Sure, it would have been very easy to choose my four closest girlfriends, but to me, these positions at the head table are a little more symbolic.  What have been the biggest things in my life that have shaped me into the person I am today?  I believe that in order to find the person that you’re going to marry, you have to first find yourself.  So I wanted to honor the people who have been beside me while I figured that out, and eventually became the person who turned out to be “the one” for Eric.

 

 

 

 

So apparently, you have to go through your “drunk girl in a cowboy hat” phase before you can get married...

 

Tara is my oldest friend, and we have been engaging in shenanigans since the 7^th grade, so that one is a no-brainer.  She was by my side all through my awkward junior high years and by the time we got to high school we were inseparable.  No, literally inseparable.  When she moved out of Transcona and into a different school division before grade 11, getting through the last of high school without my bestie was not an option.  So off to Miles Mac I went, spending 45 minutes on the bus every morning instead of attending TCI which was a 4 minute walk from my house.  It turned out to be one of the best years of our lives, which included forming our all-girl singing group “XPression”.  Man we were so cool.

When I finished high school, I took a 4 year break before I went back to post secondary.  I was only 15 when I finished grade 12, I couldn’t get into any university or college programs because I was too young, and what was supposed to be a short hiatus turned into a long one.  I worked full time at the Wal-Mart Photo Lab (with Tara...of course) turned 18 and started partying and having fun.  It was all very PG, of course....it was at this time that boy bands like Backstreet Boys and NSync were reaching the height of their popularity, and I was no different than any other obsessed fangirl out there.  So we went to endless concerts screaming and wooing and danced at the bar until the wee hours of the morning and it was around this time in my late teens and early 20’s that Melissa and I started to become really good friends, and have stayed friends since!  Good times with that girl....gooooooood times.

 

 

Ladies, I have found your dresses!

You can already read all about Tara and Melissa being my bridesmaids here – so without further adieu here are my other two peeps!

Anyone who knows me knows that dance is a huge part of my life.  I started my career in the basement of a church in Longlac, Ontario and my first ever recital piece was to “Like A Prayer” by Madonna – I wore a white bodysuit and angel wings and the first part of the dance was 16 plies in ballet first position under a black light – this was cool in the late 80s okay?  I don’t have a problem saying it – I totally sucked when I first started.  I started at DBSD when we moved to Winnipeg and I was 9, and compared to the 9 year olds I teach now, it’s preeeeeetty embarrassing.  But I gradually got to a point where I wasn’t terrible, moved into a variety of disciplines and eventually became a teacher.  Now I’m way past the point of wearing spandex unitards (thankfully) and right into teaching and choreographing some pretty boss dancers.  I was given my very first class in 1999 when I was 15, and in it was an adorable little 4 year old named Jessica.  She was very shy and quiet (which is shocking if you know her now) and had a natural talent for dance that I could see right away, even all the way back then.  Jessica has been with me my entire teaching career, from my first routine when I put her out on stage in the sparkly silver bodysuit and tutu and she tapped to “Do You Believe In Magic?” and countless routines since.  She’s been in every single one of my favorites:  Car Wash, Kansas City, Dancin’ Fool, O Fortuna, Technologic, Soul Surfing, Money, Night At The Savoy, Rhythm of the Pridelands, Funhouse, Moses Supposes, Crapshooter’s Dance, Garden of Eden, Without You, Money again at the World Championships, Trapped, Military....the list goes on!  I’ve been able to put some seriously facemelting rhythms in this girl’s solos, and while we might have a few minor freakouts in rehearsal (“I don’t think I can DOOOOO that again!!!!”)  she always nails it.  Dance has definitely shaped me into the person that I am today, and Jessica is the perfect representation of all of the work that I have put in over the years and all the great memories that I have of my teaching career.   She is like the little sister I never had, so I’m glad she agreed to stand up for me at my wedding.  Awe.  Okay I’m done being mushy now!

 

 

 

I taught her that you aren't gangster unless you wear one pant leg up.

 

 

At the World Tap Championships on Team Canada!  My first time as a choreographer at Worlds with one of my favorite routines ever.

 

 

 

Oh, the things I have made this girl wear....

 

 

 

I think she is in there somewhere but I legit can't tell.  Someone help me out. 

 

 

 

One of my favorite pics of Jessica, in Night at the Savoy.

 
 

 

And now she's one of my cheerleaders!  Which makes me want to dress them in turtlenecks instead of halter tops.

 

The other road that has led me to where I am today is my education.  After I was done my 4 year hiatus I went back to school to get a business degree.  I wasn’t totally sure what I wanted to do, but I figured Business Administration at Red River would be a good start.  It was there that I met my good buddy Graeme.  College was a blast, and then went off to the Asper School, got our accounting majors, went through the CA program, and even articled at the same CA firm for a while.  Grambo is one of my BFFs, and he’s been there with me through most of my 7 years of actually becoming a CA and 5 years of being one.  This might come as a shock to some, but I was a little....high strung....about school.  This guy calmed me down from more exam freakouts than I care to admit, and even supported me when I faked being sick to get out a Quantitative Methods final that I felt I wasn’t going to get an A+ on and helped me study for the supp so that I did get an A+.  I have to admit I was a little nervous asking Graeme to be in my wedding party, because it is pretty unconventional and I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or like people were going to be looking at him weird or anything.  But in true Graeme fashion, he was all for it!  And then he called himself a “bros-maid”, which made me laugh!

 

 

 

And those two photos are pretty much Graeme in a nutshell.

 

 

One of our many MNP bar nights...

 

 

I just wanted to put this in here to show I was not the only person who went through the drunk girl in a cowboy hat phase.

 

 

So that’s my side of the wedding party – and you will meet Eric’s side very soon!

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M