Wedding Traditions: Yay or Nay? (Part 1)

So when Eric and I started to get into some of the smaller details when it came to wedding planning, we found ourselves questioning certain aspects of traditional weddings and whether or not we wanted to include that in our day.  We are not terribly traditional, nor do we want a boring, cookie cutter wedding that our guests can’t wait to get out of and go somewhere more fun.  We also have a budget to stick to, so we need to decide what's really important to us and what we can feel comfortable letting go.  So today I thought I’d share with you some of the things we’ve been discussing and whether or not we’re going to incorporate it into our big day.

 

Engagement photos

Luckily, we were both on the same page with this one.  We don’t see any need at all to spend thousands of dollars on photos of us in our plain clothes.  Wedding photos?  Ultra important.  Engagement photos?  It was hard to come up with a reason why.  Because that’s what you do?  To send out Christmas cards?  For a Save The Date card maybe?  To get comfortable in front of the camera?  We both just thought it was kind of a waste of cash, and we’d rather put that money towards getting a really awesome photographer for the wedding.  Now, I’ve talked to some other brides that have said when you book the photographer for the wedding date, sometimes they will throw in an engagement session for free!  In that case, we probably will but otherwise, we’re saving that dough for when we’re all dolled up.  (And we came up with a really awesome idea for a Save The Date card that will only require one photo of us, and we can do it quick and easy!  Boom.)

Verdict:  Nope.

 

Cute, but we can really do that anytime.

 

Open Bar

Oooh, the everlasting wedding argument.  Do you let your guests go wild on your dime?  Or make them bring cash to your party if they want to indulge?  I can definitely see both sides of this argument.  If you have an open bar, a lot of times people will get hammered, leave half full drinks everywhere, and a lot gets wasted that the bride and groom still have to pay for.  On the other hand, a lot of wedding guests say a cash bar is a hassle and just reduce the presentation they offer the couple to pay for their drinks.  Regardless of the pros and cons of each, it is very important to us to have an open bar for our guests.  We enjoy our bevies, our friends like to drink (a lot, as evidenced by our engagement party) and we know a lot of our other guests enjoy a sip or two now and then...Dance Moms, I’m lookin’ at you.  We don’t want our guests worrying about paying for drinks, we just want them to have a great time.  This is why it was important that the venue we book allows us to bring in our own booze.  We want to have premium liquor and a signature drink (cosmopolitans...natch), and we also have a little something extra planned between the ceremony and reception... 

Verdict:  Drink and be married!

 

Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care!

 

 

 

This could be you.

 

Groom’s Cake

Neither Eric nor my dad (affectionately dubbed FOB on this blog) had heard of a Groom’s Cake before.  Basically this is a way for the groom to be recognized and represented on the cake table.  The wedding cake itself is usually a tall, white, sparkly beast – all things bride.  Groom’s Cakes are fun because they allow for the groom’s interests to be displayed at the wedding.  When I first brought up the idea to Eric, he was sort of indifferent and asked a few questions, particularly what would be on it.  When I said that it usually is the groom’s favorite sports team or something like that, he said “You had me at Oakland Raiders.”  Now, a Groom’s Cake would normally be considered a splurge because as we all know, wedding cakes are usually pretty expensive.  But because MOB is also the Cake Boss Supreme, we’ll be able to get Eric a ridiculously awesome cake for just the price of a few hugs.  Right mom?  Right? 

Verdict:  RAIDER NATION!

 

Like this, but way better.  Have you seen my mom’s cakes?  Check them out.

 

Awkward Wedding Party Dance

Why?  Just why.  The only reason I can think of why people do this is because it’s a tradition.  That is not a good enough reason to slam your bridesmaids and groomsmen together for 4 minutes of pure awkwardness.  I liken this dance to kids at a junior high dance.  You can’t dance too closely, but it’s also weird if you’re too far away.  You can’t chatter in their ear the whole time, but it’s also weird if you don’t talk at all.  You can make some small talk, but you are also three inches from their face.  It’s creepy to look them in the eye the whole time, but you also don’t want to be looking around either so your partner feels like you’re counting down the seconds until Amazed by Lonestar is over even though really, they feel the same way.  Nobody needs to see our wedding party dance with each other.  We want everyone up on the dance floor right away!  Finish your dinner and let’s party!

Verdict:  Save it for the sock hop.

 

Pretty much looks EXACTLY like this.

 

Bouquet and Garter Toss

Yet another tradition that nobody seems to question and therefore it’s included at every wedding.  Let’s break this down.  When a single girl is at a wedding, she’s probably feeling a few pangs of jealousy as it is.  Not saying that every single girl is dying to get married, but I’m sure there are a few fleeting moments of wondering when her prince charming is going to come along.  Do you think it makes said single girl feel better when suddenly, the party is stopped.  The lights go on.  The DJ booms over the microphone “LET’S GET ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ON THE DANCE FLOOR!”  Then people around her start pointing it out to her.  “Go on, you’re siiiiinglllllle!  Get up therrrrrre!”  So she begrudgingly goes to the dance floor with all the other single girls, on display for everyone to see.  Yes everyone, I’m single!  Take a look!  Nope, no man over here!  Then the bride turns her back and shuns her poor, lonely single friends, and tosses her bridal bouquet over her shoulder.  Take my used scraps losers, I’m married now!  And since it’s well known that the bridal bouquet is the last chance any of these single girls have at romantic happiness, things can get a little vicious.  Clawing, pushing, shoving, scratching...until finally, one single girl emerges victorious and can dream of the day she gets to throw a bunch of flowers in her single friends’ faces. 

 

 

Let’s tear it to pieces in a humiliating display of self-loathing!

As for the garter toss, hilarious.  For as excited as the single girls get when they see the trajectory of the bouquet heading straight toward them, the guys could not care less.  Most of them are three sheets to the wind already and don’t even know what they are doing up there.  Not to mention the awkward moment where the bride has to sit on a chair and her groom has to root around under her dress to find the thing.  And if it takes any longer than 8 seconds, people lose interest.  Why stop the party for this?  Worst.

Verdict:  This tradition needs to die.  Now.

 

 

Could this be more awkward?

 

Fireworks

 

 

Come on, a girl can dream can’t she?

 

Verdict:  I think they are illegal downtown.  But if I could get away with it, I would.

 

Funny story:  When I asked for Eric’s input on this list, he came up with tons of good examples and the list ended up needing to be split into 2 parts.  Then he goes, “your shoes? ;)”  My groom thinks he’s pretty funny!  But seriously, those were never anywhere but the “Absolutely Necessary” category.

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

~M

A Grand Celebration!

This past weekend Eric and I celebrated our engagement with our family and close friends at our engagement party, hosted by our parents at my MOH’s beautiful home.  I am so happy to be engaged to my handsome fiancé and was very excited to celebrate our upcoming nuptials!

 

“I love you.  And I just wanted to shout it from the top of a mountain.  But I didn’t have a mountain.  I had an engagement party.”

 

I ordered the invitations from Wedding Paper Divas.  I love this website, especially all the customization features and the fact that the invitations are budget-friendly.  We were able to put anything we wanted on it, and even included a photo from our proposal on the back. 

Eric’s middle name is Andrew.  Not Jehoshephat.  Long story for another blog post...

 

Of course, my DIY streak was in full force and I wanted a keepsake for each guest to take away from the party without breaking the bank.  I picked up champagne glasses from Dollarama for $1 each (love Dollarama!) and rhinestones from Michael’s, and decorated each one.  Then I had my MOH, who is also Scrapbooking Queen Supreme, make a pretty tag for each glass with a message from us.  We used the glasses for the toast at the party, and guests got to take them home! 

 

Bling!

 

 

 

Our little thank you...

 

 

 

Ready for the toast!

 

I was overwhelmed at how much our family and friends came together and helped with the party.  MOB, who is also Cake Boss Supreme, made us a pretty engagement cake along with some ultra yummy red velvet cupcakes that were positively to die for.  They were all decorated so beautifully – I loved it all!

 

So pretty!

 

 

 

Eric and I got special cupcakes on the top tier...

 

 

 

The theme is “bling”.  Can you tell?

 

Eric’s parents made the most fabulous cheese spread I have ever seen with every type of cheese imaginable, and even made cute little signs to stick in the cheese.  Eric’s brother Adam brought a yummy fruit platter, Eric’s sister Marita made delicious punch, and we had hors d’oeuvres catered by Amici Catering.  It was all very tasty!

 

We also received a special set of engagement presents from our parents!  I have been eyeing the Swarovski Crystal Champagne Flutes for a while, for Eric and I to have as our toasting flutes at the wedding.  They have a crystal base as well as hundreds of tiny crystals in the stem.  They are positively divine and I couldn’t imagine us using anything else to toast to our new life together. 

 

SQUEE.

 

So I was shocked and delighted when we opened a box from my parents to reveal these gorgeous goblets, and then unwrapped a bottle of very fine champagne from France from Eric’s parents!  So thankful and so excited!!!

 

Look at that handsome man....

 

All in all we had a fantastic engagement party and fun was had well into the night.  I want to thank everyone who attended and made it so special for Eric and I, we are overwhelmed by your love and generosity.  <3

 

 

One happy couple!

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M

Say No to the Dress Shows

I went dress shopping again!  SQUEE!

 

 

You can almost hear the angels singing...

 

For my second dress appointment, I decided I wanted to try on dresses from the Vera Wang White line. I absolutely love the floaty, soft, romantic quality of Vera’s dresses, and I especially like that she has created this line for those of us who don’t want to spend $20k on a dress but still want something interesting and designer looking, and not made entirely of shiny white satin.  So me and MOB went to the dress shop that carries them to check it out. 

 

 

Sigh.  So gorgeous....

 

The Vera Wang White line is beautiful, and I had so much fun trying on these dresses.  The fabric is luxurious, I love the interesting way it drapes and falls, and the dresses are definitely budget-friendly.  At the end of the day I didn’t choose any of them, mostly because the line is quite outdated by now (brides who had their weddings in 2011 have worn these dresses) and I’m still not ready to commit.  Just like you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, you have to have the same patience when choosing a gown to marry him in!  ;)

 

Here are the two biggest lessons I’ve learned from dress shopping so far.  The first: it’s a mistake to focus too much on gown photos.  Every website that offers tips on dress shopping will place “research dresses and find out what you like before coming to the store” high atop the list.  I understand this, if you have no idea what kind of style you like, the consultant has no idea what to pull off the racks or where to start.  But I have found it is also a bad idea to over-research.  I have spent hours upon glorious hours looking at wedding dresses online, dreaming....admiring....fantasizing....and after heading down to the store excitedly clutching my magazine clippings and ready to see the gowns in real life, I expect to waltz out of the dressing room looking like this:

 

 

 

And sometimes, here’s what I actually look like:

 

 

 

Damnit.

 

So a good trick I learned is to stop poring over the bridal sites where any dress can look gorgeous on any model, and start focusing on real brides.   This is why I love the Maggie Sottero website – she has the dresses on models but on the same page there is a section called “Real Maggie Brides” where you can click on pictures of real brides actually wearing the dress on their wedding day and see what it looks like on.  It can definitely change your perspective on a dress, good or bad!

Model bride vs real brides:

 

 

Looks different on everybody!

 

 

The second is, it’s a mistake to wait for the “Say Yes to the Dress” moment.  I have probably tried on about 20 dresses so far, and have not so much felt a spark of electricity in a dress when I have been expecting lightning bolts.  There are some that I have liked, even loved, and some that I have downright hated, but I’ve never put a dress on and squealed with delight while crying a river of tears like some brides do on that show.  Maybe it’s because I’m overly analytical or maybe it truly is because I haven’t put on the right gown yet, but I think it’s important to enjoy bridal reality shows for what they are and be a bit more realistic when shopping for your own dress.  I’m sure when the right one comes along I’ll know, but I know not to reject a dress just because I haven’t cried over it! 

 

This is my dreeeeeeeeeeesssssssss!

 

I am very excited for the Wonderful Wedding Show coming up in January to try on some more dresses. But I’ll probably schedule another appointment before the end of the year...it’s too much fun!  :)  The dress shopping saga continues...

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M

Bling it on.

I have been teasing for a couple weeks about shoes, and I finally get to post about them today!  I consider myself a lover of shoes.  A connoisseur, if you will.  A shoe buff.  An aficionado!  An enthusiast!

 

Fine....I’m an addict.

 

 And while I am excited about all the different aspects of my bridal “look” for the big day and have been extensively researching everything – dress, veil, hair, makeup, jewellery, purse, garter....nothing gets my heart racing faster than bridal shoe shopping.  Woo!

 

I have known for a long time what my dream wedding shoes are.  There are simply no other pair.  May I present to you the Christian Louboutin Daffodile Strass:

 

 

 

And God said, “Let there be Louboutins.”  And it was so.  And God saw that it was good.

 

 

The price tag on those beauties?  Only $6,395. 

 

So.  Not surprisingly, I will not be purchasing the Daffodile Strass for my wedding.  I may be a shoe addict, but I’m not insane.  Especially since I know that I would probably be able to wear those shoes for about an hour tops – I am lucky enough to own two other pairs of Louboutins, and they are bar none the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn.  Since I’m going to be on my feet all day, and dancing to the sweet sounds of Lionel Richie late into the night with my new husband (who is away right now on a work trip and I miss him a lot...love you Eric!!!!) I need a combination of fabulous and practical.  Well, slightly more practical.  You won’t see flats or kitten heels on this girl.

 

 

 

Unless you're Beyonce. Then you wear them once to a Knicks game and throw them out.

 

 

So I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and started thinking about what else I might want to wear.  Then while cruising the internet, I came across a growing phenomenon called “strassing”.  Apparently many brides, not unlike myself, drool for the exquisite Daffodile Strass but cannot afford the exorbitant price tag, unless willing to serve Ramen noodles for the dinner entree.  So brides have taken it upon themselves to crystallize their wedding shoes themselves for a fraction of the cost.  And it’s actually even better, because then they are fully customizable.  Any shoe, in any color!

 

 

 

GENIUS. 

 

 

This of course opened up a multitude of new issues.  What shoes will I strass?  What color will the crystals be?  Where will I get them?  How many crystals do I need?  And probably most importantly, how long is it going to take me to individually hand glue rhinestones one at a time to a size 9 pair of pumps?  And when I’m done, are they even going to look good or will it look like a Grade 5 art class assignment?

 

I am too risk averse to put all my eggs in one basket and just do this for my wedding day without a solid plan.  I am an accountant, after all.  And while I have acquired my magical DIY talents after getting engaged, this seemed like a big project to take on with no backup plan.  I wanted to try this out before committing to it, and practice makes perfect, right?  As it just so happens, I am doing a “Wizard of Oz” themed routine with my Junior Tap Performance Team at the dance studio.  And my little Dorothy needs a pair of ruby slippers!

 

 

Haha!

 

 

So I researched and researched and researched...this was the boring part...and figured out how many crystals to get (about 7,500) and what sizes I need (ss7 to ss20) and where to get them from (Hong Kong) and what kind of adhesive to use (E6000) and what tools to use (rhinestone wax pickup tool), etc.  I got my crystals about two weeks after ordering them, and I honestly puked a little in my mouth when they arrived.  The smallest size crystal I got was ss7 (when most of the strassing sites said to start at ss5 which is even smaller) and they looked miniscule compared to the shoe’s surface area.  Suddenly this project was feeling overwhelming...

 

 

It would probably take about 35 ss7 stones to cover the surface area of a dime...

 

But I am nothing if not determined, and once I sat down and starting working on the shoes, I loved it!  I find strassing incredibly relaxing.  I have a pretty busy life, and it feels great to sit down, put some music on, pour a glass of wine, and just slow down and concentrate on one thing.  Plus, I am learning a lot as I go and perfecting my technique.  It does take a VERY long time.  Doing just the heel on one tap shoe took me about an hour.  I am about five hours into the project and only have the heel and one side of one shoe done.  Thankfully I have lots of time until Dorothy drops her house on the Wicked Witch of the East.  :)

 

 

 

Gettin’ my strass on...

 

 

I am happy to report that these shoes look more gorgeous than I ever would have hoped.  The Swarovski crystals look amazing, they are so sparkly and these photos don’t even do them justice.  So I will definitely be strassing my wedding shoes as well as a pair of ballerina flats for Aislin to match!  SO EXCITED!

 

 

 

Progress!

 

 

Stay tuned for more updates on both the ruby slippers and my fabulous wedding shoes!  I still have to decide the style of shoe (pump, slingback, open toe, closed toe, crescent toe, heel height, heel curvature, etc.) and what color they will be...OMG my heart is racing again... :)

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M

They Said Yes!

If you were to ask the people closest to me what kind of bride they think I am, you would probably get similar responses across the board – Princess Bride, Glamorous Bride, Over The Top Bride, Bridezilla....kidding!  But “DIY Bride”?  Never.

 

So you may be surprised to learn that upon my betrothal, my DIY switch flipped and suddenly I am all crafty and hands-on.  So when it came to “proposing” to my first two bridesmaids, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.  Bridesmaid boxes!

 

Tara and Melissa were basically shoo-in’s for the "lucky" (snort) job of bridesmaid as they are my closest girlfriends that I love to death!  We have a grand tradition called the “Margarita Sweatpants Party” in which we get together once a month or so, take off all our makeup, pile our hair in messy ponytails, put on our comfiest sweats, and drink copious amounts of margaritas (or other delicious cocktails) while eating really fattening food and listening to 90’s boy band music.  Our personal version of heaven.  So we had one scheduled for last Friday, and I knew it was the perfect time to lock down these two girls as my go-to peeps for the big day.

 

To start, I headed down to Dollarama (my love for that store could be its own blog post) and picked up a plain wooden photo box and a bunch of other supplies – stain, paintbrushes, ribbon, bling, etc. 

 

 

Easy enough.

 

 

Then I stained the boxes, added a little bling, and put my message in the top of the box in place of a regular photo.

 

It says: “I can’t say ‘I do’ without you...”

 

 

Next was the fun part.  I went through all my old photo albums in the back of my closet, and pulled out a bunch of pictures of me and Tara and me and Melissa from back in the day.  It was such a riot going through these pictures and even more fun laughing about them at the sweatpants party.  Two things we learned:  1) we went to the bar a LOT.  And 2) we thought we were pretty hot when really we actually looked ridiculous.

 

 

“Here’s us at the bar...here’s us at the bar again...”

 

 

I found some cute stickers about friendship so I stuck them all over the box, and added booze, which is one of the foundations of our friendship (ha!) and my ring pop to propose with.

 

 

 

Candy and booze - the perfect bridesmaid proposal.

 

 

Next step, the actual asking.  I decided to write each of the girls a card letting them know what their friendship means to me and officially asking them to stand up for me.  I am not normally the “mushy” type as everyone knows, but these girls mean the world to me so I wanted to make sure that I took the time to tell them that, and how important it was for me to have them standing beside me on my big day.  I also bought each of them a gift (Melissa a gift card to MAC and Tara a gift card to Studio Calico) as a small token of appreciation – come on, we all know it.  Being a bridesmaid isn’t a super fun job all the time.  So it was kind of my way of saying, “Sorry sucker!  But go buy yourself something nice!”  HAHAHA!

 

 

If you look really hard in the background, you'll also notice I have a huge glass of wine going.  A staple for any DIY project.

 

 

Then to finish it all off, I put everything into the box, added a bit more bling and tied it up with a shiny ribbon!

 

 

Ta-da!

 

 

I am very happy to report the girls loved the boxes and both happily agreed to be my bridesmaids.  Watch for future blog posts on my MOH Tara and Bridesmaid Melissa! 

 

 

They said yes!  (And let me break the cardinal rule of NO photography at the Margarita Sweatpants Party...)

 

 

As for my other two bridesmaids to round out my party of 4, I have something else special planned for those two, so stay tuned.  ;)

 

Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!

 

~M