When Eric and I originally got engaged, we were on the fence
about having a social. For any of my
non-Manitoban readers out there (and there are a few, from as far away as the
UK and Australia!) a social is a pre-wedding tradition whereby the bride and groom
throw a big party, where paying attendees come and buy drinks, tickets for
silent auction prizes and other raffles, and it is considered a fundraiser to
offset the costs of throwing your dream wedding. From reading a couple of non-Manitoban
wedding forums and blogs, I can see that anywhere else, this would be
considered tacky. But for us, it’s as
ubiquitous as cold weather and perogies.
Socials! Wooooooo!
The reason we were on the fence about it is, let’s face it,
we are no spring chickens. We are both
going to be in our 30s by the time we get married, and we are both well
established in our careers. Could we
really ask our friends and family to pitch in to help us pay for our
wedding? I can definitely see the point
of view of the people out there who poo-poo socials for couples that are
already somewhat on their feet. But it’s
a personal decision, and in my opinion all you have to do to convince yourself
to have a social is draw up a budget for your wedding, and compare the amount
of time until your wedding to the amount of money you have to save, and voila. Convinced. Weddings aren’t cheap no matter how you slice
them, and while there isn’t a lot that would stop me from trying to throw the
wedding of my dreams, I certainly will do anything I can to avoid going into a
mountain of debt. So the poo-pooers don’t
have to come. Besides, for me, the
experience of having a social is more valuable than the money made from
it. It’s a Manitoba tradition, and I’ve
been attending socials for 11 years and I finally get to be the bride at
one! Surrounded by all of our own family
and friends and important people! Fun! Social prizes! Dancing!
Cold cuts! Need I say more?
Nothing like the glorious sight of a large tray of cold meat
when
you are wasted off your ass at 11:30 pm.
While the various little details of the wedding are a large
source of forethought and planning and stress for me, I was not worried about
the social at all. Rent a hall, get a
DJ, gather up some prizes, make sure you have the makings of a great Canadian
sandwich including rye bread, cubed cheddar and a big bottle of yellow mustard,
and away we go. Easy as pie. Turns out, it’s not that simple. A lot of our friends that have gotten married
recently have expressed that the social was 10 times more stressful than the
wedding. At first I’m thinking,
what? That can’t possibly be true. Here I am meticulously gluing miniscule
rhinestones on a pair of shoes one at a time, while imagining the 22-part
centerpieces that will need to be assembled and how I am going to put all the pieces
together without blowing the budget and a social looks like a breeze. Then we started planning and learned a few valuable lessons very early.
Right? RIGHT?!?!?!?
Lesson #1: Don't jump the gun. Similar to the fact that you
wouldn’t announce a wedding date until you’re sure you have a venue, you
shouldn’t announce a social date until you’re sure you have a hall. To my (perhaps naive) surprise, it’s
incredibly difficult to find a social venue in the city that holds more than
350 people, on a Saturday, especially if that Saturday is the one right before
St. Patrick’s Day. So we had to give up
on that date, which actually ends up working out better because our new social
date gives us the venue we want at a time of year that is convenient and gives us
more time between the social and wedding to switch our focus to all the DIY
projects that I really want to incorporate into the wedding. So our for real, actual, set in stone social
date is November 16, 2013! Yayyyy!
On like Donkey Kong.
Lesson #2: Be prepared to make it rain. Throwing a social costs a
hell of a lot of money up front. Sure
you will make it all back, but for a risk-averse accountant such as myself,
this type of gambling on the future and pinning your hopes on your attendees
isn’t totally in my comfort zone. You
have to pay for the venue (which I will say is a LOT more than I thought it
would cost), the booze and liquor permit, the DJ, the social tickets, any
prizes that you have to buy that aren’t donated, the late lunch, the ice, mix,
cups, plates, napkins, forks, chips and pretzels, the liquor tickets, the prize
tickets, the grand prize tickets, the 50/50 tickets, the perfume draw tickets,
the bags to put tickets in, the poster board to post the numbers on, the
decorations, the cash box....the list goes on and on. I definitely know that you have to spend
money to make money and this is all fine and good and I want to have a social
so I know its necessary. It’s just
really hard to be spending money left and right when my primary focus right now is to save money for
the wedding!
Whomp wahhhhhh :(
Lesson #3: Your social cannot be lame. There seems to be just as
many elements to planning a social as there is to planning a wedding. This is because the Manitoba social has
evolved from the simple and quaint friends and family get together of the 70s,
to a rip roaring, Las Vegas style, glittery sparkling game show. Social throwers are trading in rail drinks
and OV for premium spirits, shots and Heinikegs. My beloved assortment of cheese cubes on foil
trays are being replaced by pizza, samosas, perogies, and McDonald’s cheeseburgers. And if you don’t have at a minimum a
barbeque, a large flat screen TV, a patio set, a texas mickey and round trip
tickets to the moon, your social prizes suck.
Because this momentous occasion is such an institution in this province,
on any given Saturday in April there could be upwards of 20 socials going on in
the city. So now you need to make yours
stand out! Themes! Decorations!
Fabulous prizes!
Pyrotechnics! Full buffet! And make sure you are selling Grey Goose for
$2.25 a shot!
I know right?
So while social planning can be a little stressful (I think
I have a lot of friends...do I have a lot of friends? How many friends do I have? How many will actually come to my
social? Will their friends come?) we are
taking a more traditional approach but also luckily have a few little tricks up
our sleeve to ensure this will be an amazingly good time. I don’t want to give away everything just
yet, as everyone knows that the List of Fabulous Prizes needs to go on the
Facebook Event Page, but let’s just say the FOB is hard at work making sure
that all who attend will be appropriately wowed. But as a little teaser, here’s a sneak peek
at our social ticket!
Booyah!
Happy Wedding Wednesday!!!
~M
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